My nickname growing up was always “Happy Hannah”. Which maybe felt more authentic when I was younger, but grew to be more ironic to me as I became older.
I spent a lot of my life being pretty unhappy, but keeping it all inside. I am a people pleaser to my very core. It is significantly easier to pretend to be happy and go with the flow than to fight it for me. No arguments with loved ones, and definitely no need to let people know about my depression or anxiety and futhermore be open to vulnerability.
Being overweight was the root a lot of my unhappiness growing up. But as I’ve gone through my weight loss journey, I learned that a lot of happiness comes from inside and has nothing to do with the number on the scale. I’ve put together the first few steps that led to my happiness and keeps me feeling (mostly) happy every day (Because no one is ALWAYS happy). Hopefully this can help you all too, to take the first steps needed to living a happier life every single day.
#1 : Put Yourself First
Sounds selfish, right? WRONG! You have to fill your own cup first in order to fill others. If your cup is empty, you have nothing to provide to others. Starting my morning with self-care and doing what I know I need in order to have a successful day is non-negotiable for me these days.
For example, I wake up before my boyfriend and spend some alone time preparing for the day, moving my body lightly – maybe with some yoga flows, setting my to do list, maybe saying a few prayers, and drinking some coffee or bone broth. I have noticed that since I began this routine, I have so much more focus and energy for the day. I have so much more of me to give to my loved ones, my coworkers, my blog even, when I have filled my own cup first.
#2 : Find What Gives You Energy
I now actively avoid things that I know drain my energy. If there is an activity I know I won’t enjoy, I don’t go. I don’t come up with excuses either, because I just don’t think I need to justify it.
I journal a lot to help evaluate what in life gives me energy. Sometimes it even takes writing out each activity you did during the day and how it affected your energy. Perhaps rating it on a scale of 1 – 10, where a 10 represents the activity that gave me the most energy. That meeting in front of executives? Probably fell around a 2 on my scale as it drained me and made me anxious. Whereas preparing a great dinner for me and my boyfriend may have been around a 9 on my scale, because I truly enjoyed that.
So, what do you do if there is an activity that drains your energy that you cannot avoid? For instance what if talking with some of your family members whom you love, leave you feeling around a 3? We can’t always avoid these people or even spend less time with them without seriously hurting their feelings.
I have put serious focus into not allowing those people to have a negative effect on my mood. I have to almost detach myself emotionally from the conversation. This may sound cruel, but it is the only way I know how to control my emotions and keep my sanity, leaving the situation feeling closer to a 6 than a 2 or 3.
#3 : Learn Something New Everyday
This is a big one for me as I am constantly looking to learn new things. Right now, I am very interested in nutrition and healing my body naturally. This requires a lot of research and reading, which I have grown to love and look forward to. I listen to at least one podcast throughout the day that I know will better me in some way, shape, or form.
Why not learn from so many people in this community that have already gone through similar issues. It’s often inspiring to hear more from these people and remember that is there is hope and to not give up! This also gives you a sense of accomplishment. If nothing else, you can say you became more knowledgable today!
#4 : Keep a Journal of Your Daily Thoughts
Have you ever looked back on your diary from 6th or 7th grade and just laughed at what you found horrifying or tragic then?
I find this still applies to me even weeks apart now. I find journaling and sometimes re-reading my journal entires an extremely helpful task in keeping perspective on life or situations currently bringing me down. If I had a very bad day a few weeks ago and I look back on it now, it helps me to remember that emotions come and go so often and so quickly. There are really good times in life and there are really bad times in life. We can only learn to be grateful for both. There are also days that are just “meh”, but I have found through journaling a whole new appreciation for days you don’t have much to write about.
#5: Find Joy and Gratitude in the Little Things of Life
THIS is probably the most important advice I can give on leading a happier life instantly. A lot of what I have talked about before this takes a bit of time and effort. But finding joy in the smallest things is a simple task you can start doing right now! Doing this is truly what makes me a happier person.
Once you start this mindset, I find the positive thoughts carry over into other aspects of life. For instance, as I walk in to work and someone is smoking a cigarette by me. Instead of judging that person or being annoyed by the smell, I am suddenly grateful for the fresh air I breathe the majority of the time. That spirals into me being grateful that I even have a job to walk in to. And that I get to spend my walk alone to process my thoughts for the workday. This then immediately puts me in a much better mood for work than had I chosen to focus on the particular smell I don’t personally enjoy from cigarette smoke.
This is just an example of how quickly you can CHOOSE to change your outlook on a situation. Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the joy you can find in that moment right there.
There is so much pain in life that we cannot control. My thoughts are that situations are going to happen anyway whether we want them to or not. Only we can control our reaction and how we choose to let it affect us.